Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 31, 2009 in
Dating Have you ever heard of Dating for Dummies? How about Online Dating for Dummies? Let’s face it; there is a dummy book for everything. Some of those things are worthwhile and some of them definitely are not. But if there is one thing that will help determine your true happiness on this earth, it is finding that someone special – that soul mate – to share your life with.
Fortunately or unfortunately, finding that person never really happens like it does in the movies. You have to date in order to find him or her. And dating can be hard. And stressful. And annoying. And complicated. So, if ever there was a need for a dummy book, this is it. Have you ever heard of Dating for Dummies? If not,it is time you checked it out.
Dating for Dummies can help you overcome some of the difficulties many of us face when going out on that all-important first date. Filled with advice about how to relax, how to make pleasant conversation, and how to have fun even under what can be a stressful situation can all be discovered in Dating for Dummies.
Of course, even though some first dates never result in a second one, sometimes, they do, of course. And then it becomes even more important to present yourself in your best light. Dating for Dummies has a way of cutting through all the dumb stuff. It can help you; if you have trouble getting your potential partner to see your potential, it may not be your personality; it may just be your dating style. This amzaing little book can help you overcome your dating downfalls.
Do you know what you should talk about when you are on a date? How about what topics are forbidden? Have you ever heard of Dating for Dummies? It can help you with your conversation skills.
Do you know what to wear on your first date or subsequent dates? Do you tend to look matronly or a tad too “friendly?” Neither one is good. He may like looking at it for a little while, but… Men, do you show up in a t-shirt and jeans? Do you know what that says to a woman? Again, “Have you ever heard of Dating for Dummies”? It can help you present yourself in the best possible wardrobe.
Do you tend to ramble and babble on and on about the most insignificant things while your date’s eyes roam about the restaurant? Do you know the signs that indicate your date is interested in you? Do you know how to tell if he is bored by your discussion of your boss’s annoying quirks? All of these concerns and more can be discovered easily. Have you ever heard of Dating for Dummies? It is the ultimate resource for fixing your broken dating life or jumpstarting your boring one or getting you started on one after a long hiatus.
Tags: Dating for Dummies
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 30, 2009 in
Dating Have you been looking for the perfect man or woman to compliment your life and share your earthly journey with? Are you having difficulty finding that person? If you have not had much success on your own, you really should consider Christian dating sites.
What does your future hold? Do you see yourself enjoying a rich, rewarding life with someone who shares your faith in the Lord? If it is your goal to have such a blessing and you are ready to start sharing time and love with another person, it makes sense to employ the assistance of Christian dating sites.
What does your future hold? Are you worried that your perfect partner has been so well hidden that you will never find him or her? It does often seem as if it is impossible to find a lasting, loving relationship. Some of us search our whole lives, and we go out to singles’ bars (that is just a waste of time), look around at church on Sunday mornings, endure blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, and all the rest, but still our perfect match eludes us. Perhaps it is time to try Christian dating sites.
What does your future hold? Do you dream of falling in love and finding that one person with whom you were meant to share life? Christian dating sites can help you avoid the pitfalls that traditional dating can often present. Christian dating sites can help you find people with similar interests. If you want an outdoorsy type, Christian dating sites can help you find her. If you prefer a homebody who loves to make Italian food, Christian dating sites can help you find him. What does your future hold? Time spent alone and going out on blind date after blind date only to be disappointed yet again? You do not have to settle for that. Christian dating sites can help you find the perfect person for you.
Many people may not think that online dating is too great an idea; maybe you yourself have considered it but have thought it a little too “weird.” Well, technology has brought us a million more ads for things we don’t need, and no one fusses too much about that. Technology has brought us insane amounts of adult material that does nothing but harm individuals and society.
Technology has brought us a way to distance ourselves from the outside world by sitting alone in our bedrooms and living rooms and staring at a monitor. Technology has brought us online gossip about celebrities and places for teenagers to show pictures of themselves that show too much. Technology has brought us the ability to be reached by phone all day every day, even in church a lot of the times. Technology has brought kids a way to tune out the teacher and tune in the tunes with tiny earpieces and tiny MP3 music holders.
Isn’t it time that technology brought us what we really want and need – a special person to love? Of course it is. It is time. Christian dating sites: what does your future hold?
Tags: Christian Dating Sites
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 29, 2009 in
Dating Is there any single person out there who does not need good dating advice? I don’t think so; if they did not need good dating tips, they would not still be single. So if you have been searching for the love of your life for a long time now, and you always seem to fall flat on your face when it comes to dating, you should remember to heed this dating advice.
The three most important tips to successful dating are:
Relax. I know it easier said than done sometimes, but really, you simply must try to relax. When you get all uptight, it shows. You will probably drop your fork, trip over your shoelace, stutter or ramble on and on about nothing, or say something really stupid like, “You are not as fat as my friend said you were.” Tension is bad. Relaxation is good.
Live in the moment. I know that many folks out there in the dating world would like nothing better than to find their future husband or wife on a date and get to say goodbye to the dating scene forever. But immediately looking for the spouse-potential in every date means you are not focused on the here-and-now; all you are concentrating on is the future.
When you do that, you lose the joy of the present, and really, getting to know other people and enjoying time with them should be just as important as finding your true love. You will be more interesting to the other person and you will have more fun if you learn to focus on the moment.
Be yourself. I know you have spent your whole life being yourself, and so far it has not gotten you the person you want. Some of you probably put yourself on your best behavior mode or pretend to have interests that you really don’t have just because the other person has those interests. Trust me, this is never a good idea. If the date becomes a relationship, he is bound to find out that you never really read War and Peace. And she is bound to find out that you don’t really love to crochet baby blankets in your spare time.
So, whether you are finding your dates by visiting the singles’ bars, waiting for friends to introduce you, or joining one of the awesome new online dating sites, it is so important that you remember the above dating advice. The three most important tips will take you far and improve your dating life tremendously.
Tags: Dating Advice, Dating Tips
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 28, 2009 in
Dating The last time you went to the movies, did you buy the big popcorn because it was a better deal and then have to throw half of it away because you were sitting in front of the big screen all alone? There is nothing wrong with heading out to the movies, the mall, or your favorite restaurant by yourself, but let’s face it, having the love of your life by your side sure does make it more fun, right? Well, if you are still searching for the man or woman of your dreams, a Christian matchmaker service can change your life for the better.
Would you prefer to have someone special to hold hands with while saying The Lord’s Prayer in church? Tired of holding the hand of the older woman beside you? A fellow believers matchmaker service can change your life for the better.
Would you like to have someone to cook for or have someone to cook for you – or even better, have someone with who you can share the cooking duties? A Christian matchmaker service can change your life for the better.
Do you feel way down deep inside that your soul mate is out there somewhere just waiting to be found, but you just can’t seem to locate her on your own? Are you tired of the typical dating scene? Well, of course, one of the most fundamental necessities to a lasting relationship is grounding in the same faith. If you really want to find your perfect life partner, it is time to stop and take a positive step. A Christian matchmaker service can change your life for the better.
A faith based dating service can change your life by helping you find someone who shares your faith in Jesus; for a relationship – or anything—to last in these tough times, Christ must be a part of it. So don’t waste your time and efforts looking and searching only to find out later that he really isn’t all that interested in going to church with you.
A Christian matchmaker service can change your life by helping you find someone with the same interests you have. If you love to spend your weekends in God’s great outdoors, a bookworm would probably not be the best companion for you. With a database of interests from which to choose, the matchmaker can help you easily find someone who likes what you like.
God has given us each the potential to love greatly; in fact, He reminds us that to love God and to love one another are the greatest commandments of all. If you are still searching for the love of your life, remember to seek out help so that you will not have to endure this life alone. You can find your soul mate. A Christian matchmaker service can change your life for the better.
Tags: Christian Matchmaker Service
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 27, 2009 in
Dating Dating young women is a particular challenge for guys. If you are dating women who are under the age of 25 and you are 7 or more years older than she is, you need to read this article on dating young women.
There is a stereotype that women who date older men are gold diggers. But, this applies to very few women. Actually, many young women are just out to have a good time. They are not looking for marriage. If you happen to be attracted to a younger woman, you need to play into this “good time image.”
Younger women are more whimsical, flirty, passionate, and romantic than their older sisters. They’re less ready to settle down and have children. You will get a lot of mileage out of having a youthful outlook. Being recklessly spontaneous, maintaining a high level of energy, and focusing on the emotional connections will go a long way to helping you with dating young women.
To this end, you can’t be emotionally needy when dating young women. For instance, if you were dating a woman near your own age, you would pick up the phone every time she called. You might return her text within 5 minutes. A younger woman doesn’t need this kind of intensity. You can wait to return a text or let a call go to voice mail.
Many men who are dating young women are conscious of the age difference and are insecure about being older. This will actually hasten the break up. Don’t bring up the issue of age unless she does. Also, don’t make cracks about her youth or about “cradle snatching.” Don’t refer to yourself as her “daddy.” When you are unfazed about the age difference, she will be too.
As an older man, you have several advantages over the frat boy guys she is used to dating.
You have more experience. You are interested in things beyond the latest video game release. You make more money and can take her to more upscale places.
You are also more sexually sophisticated. You will know how to satisfy her in bed and be more in tune with her needs.
Men mature more slowly than women, which may be why so many young women look to date older men. They are looking for someone in their same range of emotional development.
Dating young women isn’t just a modern thing either. In every society across all time, there has been a gap in the average age of coupling men and women. While in the United States right now, that gap is a mere 2 years, in many societies that gap ranges from an average of 5 to 15 years.
If you are interested in dating young women be aware that there are challenges posed because of societal expectations and conditioning. However, there are many advantages to dating young women.
Tags: Dating Young Women
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 26, 2009 in
Relationships How do you go about saving marriage in a culture which values throw away relationships?
There was a time, not too long ago, that marriage was considered a lifetime commitment. While there were some downsides to this such as people having to endure a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse, there were also some benefits. Marriage was a serious endeavor. Marriage created stable families. It was the foundation of society.
Now, every state except New York has some form of no fault divorce. If one spouse wants out, all he or she has to do is say the word. In most states, the partners are not even required to get counseling. How do you go about saving marriage in this kind of environment?
First, you need to realize that a marriage can be saved, even if only one partner wants it. However, if you are the one who wants to save the marriage, you need to realize that you are going to have to do most of the work.
I liken this to house cleaning. Single women do more house work than single men. That’s probably because women, in general, have a higher aversion to messiness. So, when people get married, the woman is more likely to do the bulk of the house work. That isn’t because it is her “job.” It’s because she has the lower tolerance for the mess.
So, if you are the one who wants to save the marriage, you are going to have to do the heavy lifting. Here’s how to go about saving marriage when yours is on the rocks:
1.) Recognize that your spouse had valid concerns when he or she asked for the divorce. Work on addressing those concerns.
2.) Know that your spouse has a lot invested in the relationship. Use that investment to rebuild the marriage. Your spouse will probably have second thoughts about leaving from time to time. Give him or her every reason to stay.
3.) Monitor your reaction. Too many times, the spouse who doesn’t want to leave will badger the divorcing spouse to talk about the issues in the relationship. But, sometimes your spouse needs emotional space. If this is the case, respect his or her wishes.
4.) Lower your expectations. Saving marriage requires that you don’t look for perfection in everything. If he or she has flaws, now is not the time to point them out. If they do things that get on your nerves, live with it.
5.) Have fun. Saving marriage is a serious business. But, if you make the repair process too intense, you will scare your spouse away. Instead, suggest that you together do the things you both find fun. When you can reconnect in the small ways, the big things will take care of themselves.
Finally, recognize that we live in a culture where saving marriage is not considered sophisticated. But, you know deep down, that your marriage is the most important thing in your life and it is well worth saving.
Tags: saving marriage
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 25, 2009 in
Relationships How do you know when it’s really all over? Is it when one of you calls it quits? Or, is there still hope even when someone has walked out? This article will look at relationships – break up or make up.
There are numerous reasons that relationships break up. Some of them are even good reasons. For instance, if you are just leading your partner on, it is right to cut him or her loose. If he or she isn’t trustworthy, that is a good reason for a break up. Of course, sometimes people’s lives change and the partner no longer fits into the total picture, in which case, it is good to end the relationship.
So, when do you make up?
There are two components to saving a relationship. First of all, you have to both love each other. But that alone is not enough to save relationships from breaking up. For instance, partners of different religious faiths may love each other but find that love alone can’t bridge the difference in their outlook for the future.
You also have to be able to see a future together. If you can’t see the person in your life in six months, you might as well separate now, even if you have a real bond of affection. And, if this is a serious relationship and you can’t see yourself marrying your partner, you will be doing both of you a favor by calling it quits.
If you are going to make up, you need to reflect on the relationship’s break up. Why did things go sour? When you have identified the root causes of the split, you can begin to fix things.
It may take time to fix things. While your ex may not be willing to jump back into bed with you, they might be willing to be friends and to work on the relationship. In fact, after a relationship’s break up, you may not want to start right back where you left off. Instead, take some time to rebuild the romance in your lives.
Here is some advice for people who are wondering whether to break up or make up.
First of all, listen more than you talk. Don’t always try to explain your position. Try to understand your ex’s. Also, listen without planning a rebuttal.
Next, remember to do the things your ex likes. If she likes it when you buy her flowers, get a dozen roses. If he likes it when you go to his football scrimmages, go. This shows that you pay attention to their wants and needs.
Show your ex that they are on your mind even when you are not around. You can do this by calling or texting them.
Call each other by loving or pet names. This brings exclusiveness to the relationship.
Try to have fun again. Too many times, relationships become too serious. “Communication” becomes paramount. But, dating is supposed to be fun. Try putting the serious issues aside from time to time and focus on enjoying each other’s company.
When it comes to relationships, break up is hard because you have invested so much in the other person. Because of this, making up is sometimes the better answer.
Tags: Break Up, Make Up
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 24, 2009 in
Dating There is a current trend of older women dating younger men. The popular term for such women is “cougars.” Celebrity women who have reached a certain age are finding happiness with younger guys. Demi Moore is perhaps the leading example of this trend as she married Ashton Kutcher who was 15 years her junior. Madonna was married to Guy Richie (10 years younger) and when she split with him, she hooked up with Alex Rodriguez (15 years younger.)
Older women find younger men appealing for several reasons. Cougars tend to be successful career women. They have high level executive positions in major firms or own their own businesses. Many men their own age are threatened by their successes. Younger men, who were raised in a more egalitarian era, are likely to be supportive of the women in their lives.
Older women dating younger men also point to their partner’s youthful outlook on life. These men aren’t jaded about things like their older counterparts are.
Then there is the sex. Women peak sexually in their late 30s and into their 40s while men reach their greatest performance levels at age 19 and then decline. Many women feel that they missed out on something when they were younger and more inexperienced. The sexual prowess of a younger man is quite attractive to many women in their 30s and 40s.
But, the older women dating younger men trend works both ways. Many younger men find dating an older woman to be very rewarding.
Part of the attraction is certainly sexual. A mature woman knows her body. She knows what pleases her and she is not afraid to take the lead in the bedroom. Guys find this confidence to be quite the turn on.
Young men who date financially secure older women are also more likely to be able to chart their own path in terms of a career. There is less pressure to make money now when a woman can foot some of the bills. Many men dating cougars have found that they can return to graduate school or start a business – risks that wouldn’t be possible if they were dating women their own age.
Men are also likely to appreciate that older women are more emotionally mature and less needy. There is quite a bit less drama in a older women dating younger men relationship. After a fight, an older woman is less likely to call her sister or her best friend to rehash the experience. She’ll likely go to bed and tell her boyfriend they can discuss it in the morning.
One of the challenges in these cougar relationships is over fertility. An older women usually either already has children or doesn’t want them. Many of these relationships break up because the man wants the chance to be a father. If you can weather that storm, the relationships tend to be unusually strong.
Because of societal trends, the older women dating younger men movement is not likely to go away any time soon.
Tags: dating younger men, Sexy Older Women
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 22, 2009 in
Dating Mature women dating younger guys is a trend that has just started to pick up steam, but it is not going away any time soon. In fact, more than a quarter of today’s brides are older than their grooms.
Celebrity culture has played into this in part. Many well known actresses such as Demi Moore, Madonna, and Susan Sarandon have married younger men. These women have put their stamp of approval on the mature women dating younger men concept.
But, society has changed as well. Not too long ago, women married young and marriages were for life. The nuclear family unit was the basis for society and anything that deviated from this norm was shunned. Therefore, there weren’t many opportunities for mature women dating younger men.
But, since divorce has become more prevalent, there are any number of women in their late 30s and 40s who are looking for partners. When they look at men their own age, they often don’t like what they see.
First of all, men who are in this age range are caught up in their own careers and interests. They are less likely to be supportive of a woman’s career. Because women have moved into managerial and entrepreneurial roles, they sometimes need partners who can be “the man behind the woman.” Men their own age are reluctant to take on this role.
Also, mature women dating men their own age are likely to be disappointed in the sex. A woman peeks sexually in her late 30s. Well into her 40s, she is in her sexual prime. A man, however, begins to loose steam at this age. He’s just not able to keep up with her surging needs.
Younger men find these women, newly confident in their sexual prowess, to be very attractive. Mature women know what they want in bed and can communicate that to their lovers.
Mature women dating younger men can also provide the guys with a sense of financial stability that allows the men to take risks with their careers. One younger man was able to pursue a career as a concert pianist because his older woman lover was able to cover their living expenses while he became known in his field. Other men have been able to pursue graduate school or start businesses due to the financial support of their older girlfriends.
Women have, for years, benefited from the generosity of older partners. Now, men are able to do so as well.
If you want to meet a person outside your own age range, you have to go where they are. For instance, a mature woman wanting to date a younger man may want to join a gym. A younger man looking for a professional woman might join a tango class. There are also places for such couples to meet online. The term for this is cougar dating.
Expect that the trend of mature women dating younger men to grow as society’s expectations about sex roles evolve.
Posted by Men Secrets on Jan 22, 2009 in
Relationships Is Your Marriage in Crisis – How to Keep Hope Alive in Desperate Times
Is your marriage in crisis? Has your spouse said that the two of you have no future? Don’t give up yet. Every marriage goes through rough spots. Some relationships are even strengthened by these times. Here’s how to keep hope alive even when your marriage is in trouble.
First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for the relationship, the marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember that he or she also has much invested in the relationship and will have second thoughts about leaving.
Next, realize that when a marriage is in crisis, people say extreme things. Don’t take these comments personally. In some cases, your spouse will feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may cover up their feelings of guilt by acting out in an angry manner. If you take that anger personally, you are further harming a marriage in crisis.
How you react to the situation will have a profound impact on how the marriage in crisis is resolved. Don’t badger a spouse who asks for more emotional space. Use this space to sort out your own emotions. In other words, back off, regroup, and prepare for the tough work ahead. What ever you do, don’t give in to anxiety and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.
Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or her spouse. If the housework isn’t perfect or someone gets home late from work, it’s not the end of the world. There are bigger issues to address right now.
You should allow yourself your own emotions as well. Don’t rush into decisions. Find some things which help to ground you. For instance, make sure that you work out regularly to keep your body balanced. Read, undertake individual therapy, or attend church to keep your mind and spirit in shape.
It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have a marriage in crisis focus in on their relationship like a laser beam. As you start enjoying your own life more, your spouse will become more interested in you.
Choose to remain positive. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control your reactions to him or her. When a marriage is in trouble, many people become insecure and depressed. These reactions only do a marriage in crisis more damage. Trust your ability to find a creative solution to your relationship difficulties.
Finally, you need to know that whatever the outcome, you did your best to resolve the issues at hand. Instead of playing the odds about whether the relationship will survive, do what you can to be helpful and loving to your spouse. That is how you rescue a marriage in crisis.
Tags: marriage, Marriage Crisis