Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 28, 2009 in
Relationships How do you know if the person is being selfish? That is easy just look at their actions and what they say. If they try to make you or others feel bad about what you are doing or because you do not agree with them, well there is your clue. Most of the time it is hidden from the person, they will tend to think it is everyone else who has a problem and they will never look inwards… so what can you do?
First off understand that you do need to obey everything they say all the time. It may have reached a point where every little thing seems to set them off and it always seems to be your fault. You must believe it is not your fault, more than not it is nobody’s fault but this person has become so selfish they will take it out on everyone else instead of just dealing with it like a normal person.
Once you stop bending over backwards to take of everything you can begin to help them understand that maybe they are not as perfect as they think they are and that they are also a little bit selfish. If you really want a healthy relationship with this person then you need to get them to see their own faults.
Now I am not saying be unreasonably but show them by example and conversation how they are behaving and how it is affecting your relationship. The hardest part of this is the fact that unless they really want to change they probably wont but if they are willing you may be able to help them understand when they are being selfish so that they can change.
As we get older we tend to think we become adults, the truth is most of us are just older children and still behave that way. Sometimes it takes a little push to get people to realize they need to grow up. You are worth it and you should not be pushed around no matter the arrangement or relationship. Selfish people are not easy to change but if you are patient they will.
Tags: selfish person
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 21, 2009 in
Personal Development,
Relationships There are many “centers” of your life including the all-important “love life center”. There is the career center, the family center, the money center, and the love life center. Some people need other centers such as sports, or arts. The love life center is usually reserved for your mate. When you have not yet found your mate, you may need to make some self-improvements in order to attract the type of mate you are looking for. When we hear the word “attract” nowadays we often think of “The Law of Attraction”. Can this law help us to fill our love life center?
There has been much stir about “The Law of Attraction in the past year or two and how using the theory involved in this law can help attract a certain person for romantic purposes. Many individuals call into radio shows requesting love songs to help them attract or express what they feel about a special person in their life. People call into these shows asking for advice just like they turn to “The Law of Attraction” in hopes of some miracle song or state of mind that will give them what they want regarding the love life they crave. The love life center of your life is where you fill the void that only love can fill. Every human needs to feel that they are loved. It is also true that we all need to express love for others in order to be truly happy and to feel fulfilled in life. When no loves exists there is an empty void that hurts, can cause depression and illness. Filling this void by improving your chance for finding or attracting romantic love is what many individual strive to do each year.
It is true that there are single men and women perfectly happy being without a spouse or significant other but most of us at some time or another feel that yearning to find a special someone to love and to have that person love us back in a romantic way. We envision the physical, character attributes of this person and may even make a list of what our ideal mate will be like when we find him/her. Most of us fail to look at ourselves and determine if “we are a good mate” for the type of person we wish to attract. The attraction is usually mutual in successful couples. There are individuals that find they falling into the trap of being in love with the idea of “being in love”. They want the security of having someone without really giving much thought to the needs of the person or what it will be like to be in an actual relationship where there will be a give and take of needs, wants, and desires. Will the person you are attracted to have the same relationship goals that you have? It puts a different spin on the search when you consider the needs of the other person and not just what you are looking for in a love match.
“The Law at Attraction” ideally works something like this: the idea of attracting the ideal mate you are searching to attract someone who is vibrationally harmonious with you. If you are seeking someone kind, then to attract that person you must show kindness. To attract someone who is truthful, you must project truthfulness in everything you do and to attract someone who is fit you must also keep your body fit. If you wish to attract someone who is willing to make a commitment to you, you must in turn be willing and capable of making a commitment to him or her. If you wish to attract a person who is successful in his/her career and has a stable financial profile, you must also have these same qualities.
“The Law of Attraction” brings to you, exactly what you are vibrating outward from yourself. If you want to attract something to you that is different from what you are currently experiencing in your own life you must first be prepared to make the necessary improvements that will allow you to embrace those things. If you wish to attract a romantic mate that is financially stable, mentally and emotionally stable you must first make sure that those things are already part of who you are. If you lack in the areas that you are looking for in a mate than to attract a mate with those qualities you will need to make the needed improvements in your own life first.
Tags: love life
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 21, 2009 in
Relationships You may go through live looking for someone to be in a relationship with. When you think about being happy and with someone you tend to think outwardly. However you need to realize there is one person who will never leave you and whom you should get to know very well and get along with. That person is you.
What do I mean by being in a relationship with yourself? That is easy. You need to know who you are. You need to know about yourself and I mean really know yourself. Learn what things make you happy and sad and how you truly feel about certain things. The more you know about yourself the more you will know about the kind of person you want in a relationship and the more successful of a relationship you will have.
The benefit of this is that you will take yourself with respect instead of looking for respect from other people. You will not just lie down and “take it” whether it is abuse, lying, or being cheated you. You will know your self worth and demand you get the respect you deserve and if you do not get it then you will move on to someone who will be better suited for you.
If all your relationships, or most, have left you disappointed or you have felt like you just will not get what you want out of life then you need to spend some time with yourself and getting to know who you are. It is important to compromise and sometimes sacrifice your wants and needs for your partners but it should not be the norm. Have a healthy relationship with yourself and you will get one with someone who will love you for a long time.
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 8, 2009 in
Dating,
Relationships Who doesn’t love to be touched? Whether it’s a friendly pat on the back or a warm hug. From a high five to a handshake it always feels good. Do not deny it, if you do not believe it why not go rub your pets and see how happy they get. Even the slightest touch makes them happy.
Cats or dogs it does not matter they both want attention equally. They will run up to you and will not leave you alone until they are done with you. They want individual HANDS on attention and they will stick their heads on your hands and nuzzle up to you just to get in a quick rub. It is kind of silly put it proves a point, touch matters.
So what do pets have to do with anything? Well if you have children you should know that they crave the touch attention just as much. While they may not be as forward, think barking/meowing or just straight up jumping onto you to get the attention they still want it. Give you kids a hug and a kiss and tell them you love them. It might seem obvious but if you do not do this enough you may actually distance yourself when all your child wants and some affection and attention on a daily basis.
How does this relate directly to a relationship though? Well that is easy you need to be touched also. Your relationship will be more solid if you get and give the kind of attention you would give to your pet. It may seem like a lot, but relationships are work but it is not hard a little attention and some pleasant touching, does not have to be dirty, will keep people together and a lot less likely to stray because they will feel wanted and loved.
In the end that is what it comes down to right? Being loved and touch is one way to convey that feeling. So do not be nervous or anxious just give a hug, or stroke their hair like you would a pet’s and you will keep yourself and your relationship happy.