Posted by Men Secrets on Nov 21, 2011 in
Dating,
Relationships One of the biggest mistakes men make when trying to attract women is, they go in with the belief that beautiful women are ‘superior’ to them.
This can automatically make guys nervous, fidgety, or even feel afraid and inferior to women.
Even a guy who has learned to become comfortable around beautiful women – and is able to have a conversation with them can still blow it IF he believes that the woman is superior to him.
By believing that the women are superior to him, he will do all the wrong things that will repel the women away from him.
Without even realizing it, he will try to impress the woman, or feel the need to “prove” to the woman that he is “worthy” of her attention.
He will try to be too nice or accommodating, compliment her too much, agree with everything she says and never disagree or challenge her in any way.
The average guy will do all of the above because he doesn’t want to “upset” the woman in any way (because, in his mind, she is superior, remember?)
The problem is, all of the above will make the woman see you as weak, spineless, boring, and yes, even somewhat inferior to her, i.e. out of her league.
And, women are not attracted to weak, spineless and boring men…especially if the guys are clearly out of the women’s league.
You may think that being nice to her and agreeing with everything she says will make her like you. But it will not. In fact, it will push her away from you.
Most important of all, women know the game that most guys try to play – by being nice to them and being all-agreeing all obeying, all the time.
Women, especially pretty ones, know exactly what you’re trying to do, which is to get her to like you so that she will sleep with you. And they will see you as being manipulative and a liar.
I mean, think about it…
If you’re being all-agreeing and all obeying, you’re obviously trying to get her to like you. But, you’re not being your true self. You’re pretending to be nice and all-agreeing.
Anytime that you try too hard to get her to like you, she will see it a mile away. And, she will start to see you as just another lying, manipulative chump who’s trying to get into her pants.
(And, in most cases, she wouldn’t be wrong, would she?)
So, how do you fix this?
Simple…
STOP treating her like a hot, sexy woman. Stop doing all those nice and “impressing” things you normally do around hot women – and start treating her like just another person you’ve met.
Think about it… if you were talking to a friend… or even to a woman 3 times your age who you were not attracted to in any way, would you talk to her differently than you would a hot woman you’re trying to attract?
Of course you would. And, the hot woman knows this! She sees it in almost every guy.
So…if you really want to attract her, show her that her “outer beauty” does not make her any more special than other women.
Treat her like everybody else.
That means, do not agree with everything she says. Agree with her only when she’s saying something that you honestly agree with. Otherwise, state your opinion.
Most importantly, do not compliment her on her beauty or physical attributes.
Be a man. Have some thoughts and opinions of your own! Don’t be like all those other boring guys out there who will try to insult her intelligence by agreeing with everything she says.
That doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk or a bully. You can disagree with a smile, and still make your point.
You can even poke a little fun at her from time to time. Yes, this is something most guys would never dare do! And, that’s why it will work. She will find you to be confident and she’ll see you as having a mind of your own.
You can even take this “approach strategy” further, and start to create some real attraction in her – for you.
Tags: attraction
Posted by Men Secrets on Nov 18, 2011 in
Dating,
Relationships Why Jerks Get All The Women, While Nice Guys Sleep Alone . . .
Have you ever wondered why men who are arrogant – and even jerks or sleazeballs – seem to always have a hot girlfriend (or at least get to have sex on a regular basis,) while all the nice guys are usually alone or even lonely?
Why are so many women drawn to these jerks, even when these men often treat women like dirt?
Surely, these women must be pretty stupid to date jerks while there are so many nice guys out there, right?
Well, there’s more to it than that. And, you will attract a lot more women if you take the time to really find out why women date jerks, instead of just assuming that they are stupid for doing so.
Women are not stupid for being attracted to jerks. They are not stupid for dating jerks either. And, I’ll explain why this is so… so that you can use it to your advantage.
Side note: Women are stupid for continuing to date a jerk after she realizes that he’s a jerk. But, that’s an article for another day.
So, what is it that women find so attractive about arrogant men, jerks, or even straight up sleazeballs? And, how can you use those qualities to attract women to you?
See, women are used to guys coming up to them, being nice and polite…or being shy and nervous…or using those lame, tired pickup lines that they’ve heard a thousand times.
Most guys who approach women do one or more of the things listed above. And all of those things are bad. Because, women are bored by all of that – since most men who approach her are always doing those same things.
So… when she gets approached by a “jerk,” it is different, it is refreshing, and it is exciting – at least for her.
A jerk doesn’t really care what others want or like. He’s only interested in himself and his own happiness. So, he doesn’t care if the woman rejects him or says no. If she does, he will simply call her a bitch and move on to the next girl.
So, a jerk walks up to a woman with that kind of an “I don’t give a damn” attitude. And, to the woman, he appears confident, bold and in charge! (Women are very attracted to confident men. It is also the opposite of what most men are like, in her experience. So, she’s all for it.)
A jerk doesn’t seem like he cares about a woman’s approval. And, once again, women find that attractive about him.
A jerk also doesn’t put up with any of the woman’s crap, attitude, or bitchiness. He is also quick to put a woman in her place when she’s out of line.
And, believe it or not, women are attracted to all of those things! (Mainly because most of the other guys who approach her don’t do any of those things.)
Now, keep in mind… a jerk isn’t doing all those “confident and bold” things to impress women. He’s doing all those things because he’s a selfish bastard. He’s doing it because he just doesn’t care about the woman all that much.
But, women don’t know this! They simply assume that he’s just a confident, secure and “manly” man who won’t take her shit, unlike most of the other spineless men she meets. (It’s only later that she will find out that this bold and confident guy is really just a jerk.)
In other words, women often mistake jerks for being real men. The kind of man they’re attracted to. And, can you blame them really? Especially when most of the other guys that approach her are always kissing up to her, being nice, agreeing with everything she says, never offering their own opinions about anything, never questioning anything she says or does, etc?
A jerk appears attractive to women because he is not afraid to speak his mind. And, if a woman tries to boss him around or be unreasonable, he will not hesitate to tell her off or put her in her place.
And, since women mistake jerks for being real men, they are often found dating these jerks, while all the nice guys out there are alone, and usually lonely.
So, how can you use this knowledge to attract women without becoming a jerk?
Easy.
Take the “good parts” from the jerk personality, and incorporate them into your own attitude.
For starters, don’t take women so seriously, especially when you are attracted to them and want to ask them out.
Be playful, poke a little fun at them occasionally – and even be a little cocky at times.
Don’t always be so nice and agreeable to everything she does and says. Show her that you have a mind of your own. And that you have opinions!
And, if you don’t completely agree with something she says, don’t pretend that you do. That will only work against you.
Now, remember… all of the above has to be done in a playful and friendly way. You obviously don’t want to become a jerk. You want to become better than jerks.
Finally, don’t ever get hung up on just one woman…no matter how beautiful she may seem to be. (A jerk will simply walk up to the next woman and chat her up, immediately after he gets rejected by the first woman. Because he simply doesn’t care.)
If you get hung up on – or obsessed with – one particular woman, you will automatically slip into that desperate, needy behavior…where you will try to please her all the time by being too nice, too butt-kissy, and too accomodating.
In other words, you will start doing all those things that most of the “nice” guys do. And, the woman will start to get turned off by all of that.
Putting a woman on a pedestal never works out well for guys.
Keep the above tips in mind and you will start to become a lot more attractive to beautiful women everywhere.
Tags: attraction, dating, seduction
Posted by Men Secrets on Nov 16, 2011 in
Dating,
Relationships The average guy believes that most women are mean, cruel, angry bitches.
He believes so because this is how most women seem to treat him whenever he tries to talk to and/or ask them out on a date. He also believes that the hotter a woman is, the more of a bitch she seems to be.
So, let’s get to the bottom of this…
Are most women really cold, mean, heartless bitches?
Well… yes, and no.
The truth is, most women aren’t really cold, heartless bitches who get a kick out of shooting men down or making them run off like a scared little child. (Yes, some women do tend to do this for fun. But, we are not interested in those women – and we won’t discuss those women in this article.)
So, why is it that so many women out there – especially the “hot” ones – tend to treat most guys like dirt?
Why is it that they seem to turn down, shoot down, make fun of, embarrass or even verbally abuse men who try to talk to them or pick them up?
The answer may surprise you…
In order to understand why women react in such a way to most guys (the keyword being “most” guys,) you have to step into a woman’s shoes for a moment.
Even a moderately good-looking woman gets approached by men at least 3-5 times per day. Make that 10 times-per-day if she’s at the gym, out running, etc.
And, double that if she’s out on a weekend, especially at night, and especially in a bar/club setting.
Now, multiply that by 7, for the entire week…which gets her to deal with being approached by guys about 21 – 70 times per week. Every week!
In a month, that number becomes 84 – 280 times that she gets approached by a guy who’s trying to talk to her, ask her out, get her number, etc. And, these are conservative numbers! It’s actually a lot worse, and gets even worse depending on how “hot” the woman seems to be.
This has been happening to a woman every single day that she leaves her home, since she was about 13-15 years of age.
And most of the time, the guy would walk up to her with the same worn out, tired pick-up line that she’s heard a million times before. Nothing original, nothing even mildly different or interesting at all.
Now… are you beginning to see why even an average-looking woman could seem to get annoyed, upset or even angry at most guys who approach her – day in and day out?
Can you see why she would very quickly develop her own set of one-liners and smart remarks to cut men off left and right, in the quickest and harshest way possible?
Wouldn’t you do the same if you were continuously approached by boring guys with weak pickup lines every single day…ever since the day you started developing breasts? (If you were a girl, obviously.)
Look…if she didn’t shoot men down in this way…if she actually stopped to chat with every boring guy who walked up to her and tried to start a conversation with her, she would never get anywhere!
A huge chunk of her day would be wasted on trying to politely turn down most of these guys who’d approach her. (And many of those guys would come back the next day, to try to pick her up again.)
So, she has to constantly walk around with her “bitch shield” up – to protect her from the never-ending herd of boring, desperate, needy guys.
She has to do this. She has to appear mean, cruel, cold, heartless, i.e. a bitch, according to most guys who try to talk to her.
And yes, the hotter she is, the more she would get hit on by men – and the more of a bitch she will have to appear to be.
Okay… now you know why she appears to be a bitch to most guys. And, that understanding alone has already put you giant steps ahead of most guys out there.
The thing is…these so-called “bitches” do still date some guys, don’t they? They do still have sex with guys. You’ve seen these same ‘hot’ women with men, often average-looking men.
So, obvioulsy, some guys are able to slip under (or break through) her “bitch shield” and attract her. And, there’s no reason why you can’t be one of those guys.
The way to do that is to stop being like every other guy out there. And stop doing what every other guy does out there, when approaching women.
That means, stop using those same ol’, tired pick-up line that she’s heard a million times before. (You can’t walk up to her and tell her how pretty she is and/or if she would give you her number. That will almost never work.)
Show her that you’re a different kind of man, from the very first moment that you interact with her.
That also means, dress a little differently than most guys. Do not try to fit in with the masses. If most guys are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, you shouldn’t be. If most guys are wearing sneakers and/or running shoes, you shouldn’t be.
Just be different.
And, don’t just act like you are different. Actually start changing your attitude and your wardrobe.
That simple little change alone will make you more attractive in women’s eyes.
Tags: dating, seduction
Posted by Men Secrets on Nov 14, 2011 in
Dating,
Relationships These days, there are a lot of techniques, tricks, and routines available to the average guy, that promise to help him “get the girl.”
Unfortunately, most of that stuff being sold out there rarely works to help you get more dates, if at all.
You see, at the end of the day, giving a bunch of techniques is useless to a guy if he is too nervous, anxious or even afraid to approach women. If he can’t bolster up the courage to walk up and talk to a beautiful woman, none of the techniques or “lines” will work ever work because he will never get to use any of them.
And, even if he did somehow pump himself up and drum up enough courage to approach a woman, that woman will see through his fake and/or temporary ‘confidence’ and will probably rip him to shreds.
The hotter the woman is, the quicker she will send the guy running off with his tail between his legs. (If you’ve ever tried approaching a “10,” you may have already experienced this personally.)
So… if you ever want to “fix” your dating life and your ability to attract and date beautiful women – permanently, you must fix your mind first! Or else, everything else you do will be a waste of time. None of it will work unless you work on adopting the seductive mindset first!
The average guy walks into the dating game with the belief that he has to impress a woman by showing her – or telling her about – his success, riches, status, fame, connection, etc.
And while those things may get some women’s attention, it will rarely work to attract them to you. Moreover, the women that do get attracted to you because of your money, success, or status will almost always be the wrong kind of women, i.e. gold diggers, who are not interested in you, but only in your money and/or success.
The same is true for guys who are “good looking” and only use their looks to try to seduce women. Again, that will only attract women who are interested in how you look – not in who you are. (Plus, we all know that “looks” are always temporary.)
And, even if you did happen to attract a women with just your looks, if you don’t have anything else going for you – besides your good looks, the average woman will lose interest in you very quickly. She will get bored and move on. (It’s the equivalent of choosing a gift with the shinest wrapper, unwrapping it, and being disappointed at what you find inside.)
Unless you’ve worked on adopting the right mindset, none of the other stuff will work. And, if that other stuff does work, it will usually attract the wrong kind of women…so the ‘success’ you achieve will be very temporary.
So…in order to become genuinely attractive to women, without relying on money, status, good looks or shiny new clothes, you have to know and understand what women are really attracted to! (Not what they say or think they’re attracted to – but what they are really attracted to.)
And, in order to understand what women are attracted to, you must first understand and really “get” what women are not attracted to. You must understand what women are turned off – or even repelled – by.
And you must learn to never do those things around women.
Here’s a list of some of the most common “turn offs” and repulsive behaviors:
1. Being too nervous, fidgety, anxious, in awe of, and generally uncomfortable around her. (This is where we started, remember?)
2. Trying to impress her by showing – or telling her about – your car, house, bank account, job, connections, etc.
3. Trying to be macho, arrogant, egotistic, a jerk, a “bad boy” etc. (Yes, some women are attracted to jerks or “bad boys” but pretending to be one of those guys will only backfire on you. Remember, getting “pumped up” before approaching her isn’t the best strategy to use.)
4. Being too “nice,” agreeing with everything she says, kissing up to her, or any such behavior – in hopes of trying to make her “like” you.
5. Trying too hard to keep the conversation going, not being comfortable enough to just talk and have fun naturally, and even trying too hard to be funny.
The first one, #1, listed above is one of the main reasons guys don’t attract women. It is also a big reason as to why the other turn-offs, listed in numbers 2 – 5 exist.
When you’re uncomfortable around beautiful women (or women in general,) nothing else will work in your favor, especially not techniques or pickup lines that you’ve practiced for hours.
When you’re uncomfortable, you will try to impress her too much, you will pretend to be macho and confident, you will kiss up to her, and you will even try too hard to keep the conversation interesting and/or flowing naturally.
There are many techniques you can use to “fix” this problem – from easy to complex, from quick to more time-consuming.
One of the easiest ways to become comfortable around women is to stop trying to attract them or date them (for now)… and just start talking to them – as if they were any other stranger you happened to come across, i.e. a woman you’re not attracted to, a child, or even a guy.
Simply start talking to women – all women, anywhere and everywhere. Talk to them as you would another human being. Stop trying to impress them or seduce them.
If this is not easy for you to do, start by talking to women you’re not attracted to – as mentioned above.
And start by simply saying “Hi” or “Hello.”
Do not worry about how they respond. Just do it – with a friendly smile. And, instead of letting their response affect you emotionally, simply observe what they do or say.
Think of it as a social experiment. Imagine the entire world is your laboratory.
Remember, your goal here is not to attract or seduce her. It’s to simply get your mind (and body) to become comfortable with the idea of talking to women.
It’s a gradual process, so don’t force it too much. And, don’t beat yourself up over it either.
Just think of it as practice. Any sport or activity that you want to get good at requires practice. And, at first it may seem slow-going, but things will pick up speed as you continue working and putting in the time.
So, just do it, and forget about the results for now. (Just think of it as a social experiment, as I mentioned earlier.)
Say “Hi” or Hello” to random strangers for a week, wherever you see them.
Then, add “How are you?” and do that for another week. (If they start talking to you, then obviously respond in like.)
Then, for the next week, try to have (read: initiate) an actual conversation with them for at least a minute or two. (Talk about the weather, their cool hat, or whatever. Just get used to the idea of talking to strangers.)
The more comfortable you become with doing this, the better, and more positively, they will respond to you. And, this constant, upward cycle will continue to feed itself – as you become more comfortable and competent.
And of course, learn from each experience. Remember to pay attention to as much of what’s going on as possible. (This will also force you to get out of your own head and focus your attention on them. That’s a good thing.)
Remember, don’t take anything they say or do personally, but pay attention to the process. And, use that to improve your conversation skills for approaching complete strangers and getting them to open up to you.
Only after you have become comfortable with the process can you start adding (and using) some conversation techniques to your strategy.
Remember, what we discussed earlier… the mindset needs to be fixed first; techniques come later.
And now, you can be ready to learn my other pickup techniques, advanced conversation tactics, attraction tips and seduction tricks revealed in my new special reports.
Whether you’re looking for “same night” sex, long-term relationships, or even if you’re trying to turn a friend into a lover/girlfriend, you can find just the right kind advice and strategies by going here…
Open up a whole new world of dating and relationship success…
Tags: dating, relationship
Posted by Men Secrets on Oct 31, 2010 in
Relationships Do you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you? A healthy marriage relationship is built on trust, and a cheating spouse destroys the trust that serves as the foundation for your union.
If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, your mind is probably filled with more questions than answers. Here are signs that your spouse may be cheating.
While these signs can be symptoms of issues other than infidelity, there is cause for concern if your spouse exhibits many of these characteristics.
* Your spouse seems bored with his job, hobbies, and life in general.
* She suddenly seems attracted to the concept of thrills and danger.
* You notice that the intimacy between you has decreased and sex is infrequent.
* He shows signs of low self-esteem.
* You find it extremely difficult to communicate because she no longer opens up to you.
* If you mention infidelity, he becomes defensive.
* She suddenly begins to show you more attention than usual.
* He is putting in longer hours at work.
* She is paying more attention to her appearance than usual.
* You notice he is spending more money than usual and is secretive about his expenses.
* Family events, such as birthdays and holidays, no longer matter to her.
* You catch him lying to you about different things.
* She suddenly stops going to church with you or praying at home.
* He seems distant.
What To Do If You Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating
If your spouse displays many of the signs listed above, first recognize that there may be other issues involved. It may be infidelity, or it may be something else altogether. It’s important to remain as calm as possible and refrain from jumping to conclusions.
If it turns out that your spouse is cheating, these strategies may help you:
1. Recognize that you’re not to blame. If your spouse chooses to meet his needs for physical and emotional intimacy outside of your marriage relationship, resist the urge to place the blame on yourself.
2. Know that infidelity may lead you back together again. Instead of giving up on the marriage, you may find that talking things out resolves the underlying issues that led to the cheating. While you may choose divorce in the end, reconciliation may still be possible.
3. Remember that you deserve happiness. When the bonds of marriage have been broken, rebuilding trust can be a challenge. But it can be done if both of you are willing to work at it and start over together. You are valuable, regardless of the outcome of your relationship.
4. Talk to your spouse. If you know with certainty that he is cheating, confront him with what you have found. Listen to his point of view, and watch his reaction. If he seems truly sorry, you may be able to work things out. If he remains defiant, however, separation may be your only option.
5. Seek help. Confide in friends that are usually upbeat and positive. Seek professional counseling. But whatever you do, avoid battling this alone. Draw upon the strength of the people that love you.
Infidelity can alter the course of your life in ways that may surprise you. It may be the end of the road for your relationship. Sometimes, however, infidelity is the catalyst to fixing the things that are wrong in your relationship and you may come through this with a stronger relationship than ever.
No matter the outcome, however, there is hope. You can recover and live a life of happiness, as long as you refuse to give up and choose to affirm your right to the life you deserve.
Tags: Affair
Posted by Men Secrets on Jun 4, 2009 in
Relationships Many people have led themselves to believe that love and friendship are two mutually exclusive ideas. They know that ideally, your partner, the person you most care for, also needs to be your greatest confidant. They know it, but they don’t put their knowledge into good use. Moreover, they limit these two concepts to their partner, to their other half, when truth is, love and friendship apply to most, if not all of the relationships that they have in their life.
Love and friendship don’t come easy. It is not something that always comes naturally. In fact, it takes a lot of work to create relationships that stand the test of time. It has to be created and worked on by both people involved. As you reflect through the various stages in life, you’ll realize that you sometimes have to let go of some of your friends. There’s a sort of falling out with some of the people that you once considered were an important and integral part of your growth.
To foster the kind of relationship that engenders both love and friendship, there are several things you can do.
The first thing you’ll have to be is a good friend. For you to attract the right people, you have to be a good and loving individual. You get what you give, and if you truly show them kindness, you’ll earn their loyalty as well. No one wants a selfish friend. A healthy relationship involves give and take. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a perfect person. We all have some room for improvement and could use a little bit of help in becoming better. These people are there to see you through your journey as you will for them. Love needs growth and development just like a child, and to make it bloom into its full maturity, time must pass. Time then will be paramount for a good relationship to blossom into something that lasts.
The second thing you must do is allow time to play its role in enhancing whatever relationship you have in your life now. Just like a successful business venture, you need to invest a part of yourself into it. It is a matter of finding the ideal time to establish a connection. Huge chunks of your time go into your work, and you often forget that the most important thing in life is the people that surround you. Many die lonely after marrying their careers. They forget that all their efforts are in vain when there is no one to share their triumphs with.
Thirdly, you need to also make the effort to be honest about your feelings. You need to choose your friends, and make it a wise decision. You simply cannot live with people that pull you down. When you feel yourself getting dragged lower, cut the chains and save yourself from further hurt.
So, can love survive without friendship? Definitely not. Love stems out of friendship and no relationship can survive in the absence of mutual respect.
Tags: Friendship, Love
Posted by Men Secrets on May 26, 2009 in
Relationships Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you have trust. Trust is one of those tricky things that need to be earned. The good news is that it is easy to earn and build when you do certain things, especially together.
For example did you know that when you communicate with someone 80% is seen and not heard? That is right they are looking at your body language to help them internally gauge what you are saying. So if you are lying they can tell, maybe not 100% but their will be suspicion and that does not lead to trust. So just be honest and truthful in everything you say.
Everyone is good at certain things and obviously we are all different so hold back the hurtful comments and remarks you might make at your partners expense because they do not know how to operate your super advanced home theater system. Let them figure it out or help when they ask and they will love you more for it than if you were to be mean to them.
Do not bother hiding anything because it will come across in your body language just come out and be truthful if you feel like you should say something then do it, even if it is a secret. If you hold it back your actions around them will reflect this and they will not trust you.
Despite what you think men and women are not psychic. So if there is a problem or you need something, SAY IT, regardless of how you feel about whether they should know or not. Trust me, they don’t and they won’t until you tell them.
Learn to stop saying yes. You do not have to please every request and it is ok to say no, on the same note do not hold back on your yes’s. If you are continually saying no you will push people and you partner away from you.
These simple things can be done a daily basis and can help you build a great deal of trust in your relationship.
Tags: Trust
Posted by Men Secrets on May 11, 2009 in
Relationships Making Healthy Relationships Possible. Life is one great big workout. We strive to keep a balance on the things that are in it and often find ourselves burned out. We often have to juggle our time between our personal needs and the demands of our career that we sometimes find ourselves breathless, as if we had to focus all our energies into fulfilling all our duties. The 24 hours that are allotted to us each day is just not enough. We encounter problems and try to take every single setback with a grain of salt. The truth, however, is that life is what we make of it.
Part of life’s experience is that we encounter relationships that sour over time. Let this be a learning experience. In the end, there are just some things we cannot control, things that are out of our hands. For relationships to remain healthy, we need to look at ourselves first.
We must evaluate our actions and see what caused the problem in the first place. We can start by evaluating ourselves before implementing the changes from within. We cannot control the actions of other people. So instead of dwelling on what we cannot be in command of, we have to work on what we can change. It’s imperative for all of us to know the things that will enable us to become a friend, a colleague, and a partner that we want to become.
The first thing to assess is our worth and the value we have as a person. Are we the kind of friend to go the extra mile? Are we good confidants? Do we take our friends’ needs into consideration? These are only a few of the many questions we can ask ourselves. When the answer always leads to the negative, then maybe it’s high time that we think of our nature.
The next thing to do is measure our level of commitment. Oftentimes, we don’t equate the longevity of our relationships with the kind of person we are. Of course, every situation is unique. We meet people along the way, and not many of them make ideal friends. The thing is, we have to know the cause for the breakdown of every bond we’ve created.
Then, we also weigh these against the relationships that have actually worked. We must commit ourselves to every association we find beneficial. What gets us through life’s rough patches are the people that we’ve helped. After all, no man is an island. We need support during the most difficult of times, and the only way to make this possible is to become a true friend to the people we have in our lives.
When all is said and done, we should know and realize that we are good people. We deserve these friendships because we don’t expect anything from them in return. People are naturally inclined to show kindness to those who are genuine with their deeds. As long as we stay true to ourselves, we can also say that we are comfortable with whom we are. It’s when we are happy that we create ideal relationships.
Tags: Healthy Relationships
Posted by Men Secrets on May 11, 2009 in
Relationships Have you ever seen a dog have an anxiety attack when their owner leaves? Or maybe seen a child leave their mom for the first time and you see the child or sometimes the mom start to cry and get nervous. Almost like they are in withdrawal?
Well you may not realize it but you might be addicted to love as well. Thankfully it is curable and you do not have to go to a rehab center to help you get over the addiction. The first thing you need to know are some of the signs, the better you can understand yourself the more you can prepare yourself against the addiction.
One of the major signs of love addiction is an unwavering determination to be around the person at all times. You will cancel appointments, skip out on friends, and even blow off your family just to be around them. If you find yourself overly eager to be around them then you are on your way to being addicted.
How about control? Do you feel you are out of control or things are going hectic if you can not control the other person’s actions or account for their whereabouts at all times? You may just be a very controlling person but if you were not like this before and you find yourself like this now then you need to start to rethink who you are.
One more biggie is feeling like you need to be around the person all the time. Wanting to be around someone is normal but needing to the point where you are freaking out or losing control is a big “no no” and one of the best signs of knowing you are addicted.
So what can you do? That is easy, pay attention to yourself and see how you are acting if you think you are getting addicted give yourself a little break or change the way you behave so you can kick the habit. Being in love is good, being addicted to love is bad.
So pay attention to your behavior, your friends and family and make sure you watch what you do.
Tags: addicted, Love
Posted by Men Secrets on May 1, 2009 in
Relationships Did you know that you have two ears and one mouth? Trust me, barring some tragedy that is what you come with. Why is this important? Well besides the scientific reasons we can use this two to one ratio for our relationships. For example, you should listen twice as much as you talk.
You might go through life and not realize you are not actually listening to anybody you are just waiting for your turn to talk. We are all guilty of this at some point in time. But when you are in a relationship you need to follow this rule. Listen twice as much as you talk. I do mean listen to, spend some time not worrying about what you are going to say and just sit down and pay attention. Men tend to have this problem more than women, but just because they do it more does not mean women do not do it at all.
If you have kids, or just friends you will find that your relationships can be stronger with them by listening to them. Do not dismiss what a person has to say because they feel it is important to tell you what it is that is on their mind. Even if it is gibberish if you spend the time to listen to them you will be more valued by them.
If you seem to be in a rocky relationship it could be because communication has broken down and the main reason for this was you were both two busy speaking twice as much as you were listening. You need to understand what they are saying and why and then respond with carefully chosen words and not whatever flies into your head first.
This two to one ration can work wonders for your relationships. Give twice as much love as you want to receive, hug twice as much as you normally want to, and of course pay attention twice as much as you want to. The more you give the more you will receive sooner than you think, so open up your ears and shut your mouth for a change. It might just do what you need it to for your relationship.
Tags: Listening