Posted by Men Secrets on May 11, 2009 in
Relationships Have you ever seen a dog have an anxiety attack when their owner leaves? Or maybe seen a child leave their mom for the first time and you see the child or sometimes the mom start to cry and get nervous. Almost like they are in withdrawal?
Well you may not realize it but you might be addicted to love as well. Thankfully it is curable and you do not have to go to a rehab center to help you get over the addiction. The first thing you need to know are some of the signs, the better you can understand yourself the more you can prepare yourself against the addiction.
One of the major signs of love addiction is an unwavering determination to be around the person at all times. You will cancel appointments, skip out on friends, and even blow off your family just to be around them. If you find yourself overly eager to be around them then you are on your way to being addicted.
How about control? Do you feel you are out of control or things are going hectic if you can not control the other person’s actions or account for their whereabouts at all times? You may just be a very controlling person but if you were not like this before and you find yourself like this now then you need to start to rethink who you are.
One more biggie is feeling like you need to be around the person all the time. Wanting to be around someone is normal but needing to the point where you are freaking out or losing control is a big “no no” and one of the best signs of knowing you are addicted.
So what can you do? That is easy, pay attention to yourself and see how you are acting if you think you are getting addicted give yourself a little break or change the way you behave so you can kick the habit. Being in love is good, being addicted to love is bad.
So pay attention to your behavior, your friends and family and make sure you watch what you do.
Tags: addicted, Love
Posted by Men Secrets on May 3, 2009 in
Online Dating Just like regular real-world relationships, online dating relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.
- Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.
- Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.
- Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.
- Share special online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).
Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.
Tags: Online Dating
Posted by Men Secrets on May 1, 2009 in
Relationships Did you know that you have two ears and one mouth? Trust me, barring some tragedy that is what you come with. Why is this important? Well besides the scientific reasons we can use this two to one ratio for our relationships. For example, you should listen twice as much as you talk.
You might go through life and not realize you are not actually listening to anybody you are just waiting for your turn to talk. We are all guilty of this at some point in time. But when you are in a relationship you need to follow this rule. Listen twice as much as you talk. I do mean listen to, spend some time not worrying about what you are going to say and just sit down and pay attention. Men tend to have this problem more than women, but just because they do it more does not mean women do not do it at all.
If you have kids, or just friends you will find that your relationships can be stronger with them by listening to them. Do not dismiss what a person has to say because they feel it is important to tell you what it is that is on their mind. Even if it is gibberish if you spend the time to listen to them you will be more valued by them.
If you seem to be in a rocky relationship it could be because communication has broken down and the main reason for this was you were both two busy speaking twice as much as you were listening. You need to understand what they are saying and why and then respond with carefully chosen words and not whatever flies into your head first.
This two to one ration can work wonders for your relationships. Give twice as much love as you want to receive, hug twice as much as you normally want to, and of course pay attention twice as much as you want to. The more you give the more you will receive sooner than you think, so open up your ears and shut your mouth for a change. It might just do what you need it to for your relationship.
Tags: Listening
Posted by Men Secrets on May 1, 2009 in
Online Dating Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.
Protect Your Computer
Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):
Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus
Protect Yourself
Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.
So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!
Tags: Online Dating
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 28, 2009 in
Relationships How do you know if the person is being selfish? That is easy just look at their actions and what they say. If they try to make you or others feel bad about what you are doing or because you do not agree with them, well there is your clue. Most of the time it is hidden from the person, they will tend to think it is everyone else who has a problem and they will never look inwards… so what can you do?
First off understand that you do need to obey everything they say all the time. It may have reached a point where every little thing seems to set them off and it always seems to be your fault. You must believe it is not your fault, more than not it is nobody’s fault but this person has become so selfish they will take it out on everyone else instead of just dealing with it like a normal person.
Once you stop bending over backwards to take of everything you can begin to help them understand that maybe they are not as perfect as they think they are and that they are also a little bit selfish. If you really want a healthy relationship with this person then you need to get them to see their own faults.
Now I am not saying be unreasonably but show them by example and conversation how they are behaving and how it is affecting your relationship. The hardest part of this is the fact that unless they really want to change they probably wont but if they are willing you may be able to help them understand when they are being selfish so that they can change.
As we get older we tend to think we become adults, the truth is most of us are just older children and still behave that way. Sometimes it takes a little push to get people to realize they need to grow up. You are worth it and you should not be pushed around no matter the arrangement or relationship. Selfish people are not easy to change but if you are patient they will.
Tags: selfish person
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 21, 2009 in
Personal Development,
Relationships There are many “centers” of your life including the all-important “love life center”. There is the career center, the family center, the money center, and the love life center. Some people need other centers such as sports, or arts. The love life center is usually reserved for your mate. When you have not yet found your mate, you may need to make some self-improvements in order to attract the type of mate you are looking for. When we hear the word “attract” nowadays we often think of “The Law of Attraction”. Can this law help us to fill our love life center?
There has been much stir about “The Law of Attraction in the past year or two and how using the theory involved in this law can help attract a certain person for romantic purposes. Many individuals call into radio shows requesting love songs to help them attract or express what they feel about a special person in their life. People call into these shows asking for advice just like they turn to “The Law of Attraction” in hopes of some miracle song or state of mind that will give them what they want regarding the love life they crave. The love life center of your life is where you fill the void that only love can fill. Every human needs to feel that they are loved. It is also true that we all need to express love for others in order to be truly happy and to feel fulfilled in life. When no loves exists there is an empty void that hurts, can cause depression and illness. Filling this void by improving your chance for finding or attracting romantic love is what many individual strive to do each year.
It is true that there are single men and women perfectly happy being without a spouse or significant other but most of us at some time or another feel that yearning to find a special someone to love and to have that person love us back in a romantic way. We envision the physical, character attributes of this person and may even make a list of what our ideal mate will be like when we find him/her. Most of us fail to look at ourselves and determine if “we are a good mate” for the type of person we wish to attract. The attraction is usually mutual in successful couples. There are individuals that find they falling into the trap of being in love with the idea of “being in love”. They want the security of having someone without really giving much thought to the needs of the person or what it will be like to be in an actual relationship where there will be a give and take of needs, wants, and desires. Will the person you are attracted to have the same relationship goals that you have? It puts a different spin on the search when you consider the needs of the other person and not just what you are looking for in a love match.
“The Law at Attraction” ideally works something like this: the idea of attracting the ideal mate you are searching to attract someone who is vibrationally harmonious with you. If you are seeking someone kind, then to attract that person you must show kindness. To attract someone who is truthful, you must project truthfulness in everything you do and to attract someone who is fit you must also keep your body fit. If you wish to attract someone who is willing to make a commitment to you, you must in turn be willing and capable of making a commitment to him or her. If you wish to attract a person who is successful in his/her career and has a stable financial profile, you must also have these same qualities.
“The Law of Attraction” brings to you, exactly what you are vibrating outward from yourself. If you want to attract something to you that is different from what you are currently experiencing in your own life you must first be prepared to make the necessary improvements that will allow you to embrace those things. If you wish to attract a romantic mate that is financially stable, mentally and emotionally stable you must first make sure that those things are already part of who you are. If you lack in the areas that you are looking for in a mate than to attract a mate with those qualities you will need to make the needed improvements in your own life first.
Tags: love life
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 21, 2009 in
Relationships You may go through live looking for someone to be in a relationship with. When you think about being happy and with someone you tend to think outwardly. However you need to realize there is one person who will never leave you and whom you should get to know very well and get along with. That person is you.
What do I mean by being in a relationship with yourself? That is easy. You need to know who you are. You need to know about yourself and I mean really know yourself. Learn what things make you happy and sad and how you truly feel about certain things. The more you know about yourself the more you will know about the kind of person you want in a relationship and the more successful of a relationship you will have.
The benefit of this is that you will take yourself with respect instead of looking for respect from other people. You will not just lie down and “take it” whether it is abuse, lying, or being cheated you. You will know your self worth and demand you get the respect you deserve and if you do not get it then you will move on to someone who will be better suited for you.
If all your relationships, or most, have left you disappointed or you have felt like you just will not get what you want out of life then you need to spend some time with yourself and getting to know who you are. It is important to compromise and sometimes sacrifice your wants and needs for your partners but it should not be the norm. Have a healthy relationship with yourself and you will get one with someone who will love you for a long time.
Posted by Men Secrets on Apr 8, 2009 in
Dating,
Relationships Who doesn’t love to be touched? Whether it’s a friendly pat on the back or a warm hug. From a high five to a handshake it always feels good. Do not deny it, if you do not believe it why not go rub your pets and see how happy they get. Even the slightest touch makes them happy.
Cats or dogs it does not matter they both want attention equally. They will run up to you and will not leave you alone until they are done with you. They want individual HANDS on attention and they will stick their heads on your hands and nuzzle up to you just to get in a quick rub. It is kind of silly put it proves a point, touch matters.
So what do pets have to do with anything? Well if you have children you should know that they crave the touch attention just as much. While they may not be as forward, think barking/meowing or just straight up jumping onto you to get the attention they still want it. Give you kids a hug and a kiss and tell them you love them. It might seem obvious but if you do not do this enough you may actually distance yourself when all your child wants and some affection and attention on a daily basis.
How does this relate directly to a relationship though? Well that is easy you need to be touched also. Your relationship will be more solid if you get and give the kind of attention you would give to your pet. It may seem like a lot, but relationships are work but it is not hard a little attention and some pleasant touching, does not have to be dirty, will keep people together and a lot less likely to stray because they will feel wanted and loved.
In the end that is what it comes down to right? Being loved and touch is one way to convey that feeling. So do not be nervous or anxious just give a hug, or stroke their hair like you would a pet’s and you will keep yourself and your relationship happy.
Posted by Men Secrets on Feb 10, 2009 in
Dating When it comes to Christian dating, senior singles should be able to find just as many options out there as other age groups. Christian dating senior websites are becoming just as popular in this day and age as other, ordinary dating websites. In other words, if you are a Christian senior and you are looking to find love, or a fling, or any other kind of relationship for that matter, then a Christian dating senior website is an excellent place for you to begin your search.
Did you know that seniors make up half of all of the people who are dating online in this day and age? The baby boomers really seem to get a lot of out of the online dating scene, and Christian dating seniors are no exception. If you are a Christian and a senior, and you are looking for the best possible dating opportunities online, then choosing a website that is specific to Christian dating seniors is an excellent way for you to go.
Enjoying the Christian senior dating world is not difficult, because there are plenty of Christian dating seniors out there. The most important considerations to make in a situation like this are that you should be having fun, and you should be safe. As a senior in the dating scene, using discretion and taking your time to meet individuals in your area is a wise way to go. You can meet a lot of senior Christians in your local community, and many will be single and available for you to meet on dating sites online.
When it comes to being a Christian dating senior, you need to be realistic in the expectations that you make. Do not be hard on others because of their imperfections, and do not be hard on yourself. Don’t allow yourself to become anxious, just enjoy the conversation and enjoy the evening in order to get the most out of your dating experience.
When enjoying yourself as a Christian dating senior, you should avoid talking too much about the past, because some of your dating partners may look at it as a turn off, especially if the past that you bring up has to do with past loves and failed relationships. You should also strive to avoid sounding as a desperate person, because desperate people are both boring and annoying at the same time.
The four tips above are important if you are a Christian dating senior who is looking to enjoy yourself without becoming overwhelmed in the Christian senior dating scene. There is a lot to learn and put consideration into for when it comes to entering into the dating world again. Most of all, you should take things slow and focus on enjoying yourself rather than jumping in headlong and finding that you’re not enjoying yourself. Enjoying the Christian dating senior world is not difficult by any means, but it does take some getting used to in order to get the most out of it.
Tags: Christian Dating, senior singles
Posted by Men Secrets on Feb 9, 2009 in
Dating When it comes to Christian dating, interracial single individuals would benefit from exploring two different types of Christian dating websites and services. First and foremost, not only are there general dating sites where everyone who is a Christian can rightly participate, but also there are interracial single Christian dating sites as well, providing another unique option for a slightly more fine-tuned clientele.
If you are a Christian dating interracial single and you are looking for other interracial singles in your local area that are also looking for love, then it would be wise to search online to see what kinds of Christian dating websites you can sign up for. There are a wide variety of different options available, and for the discerning Christian dating interracial single, many of these options can be extremely advantageous.
The first step to finding the right Christian dating option when you are a Christian dating interracial single is to define what you are looking for in a dating site, or even in a dating partner. Once you know what it is that you are looking for, that is when you can be most effective at finding the right dating solution. When it comes to choosing a Christian dating interracial single website, there are going to be a number of unique options available to you but not all of them will be able to give you the right results.
Here are some things to find out when choosing a Christian dating interracial single site:
1 – Find out which site has the most members in your area. Joining numerous sites is a waste of time, and often times a waste of money as well. If there is one site that offers more local options than others, select this one first. While exploring options outside of your region is possible, the best way to find eligible Christian singles is to check out your local community.
2 – Determine what it is that you are looking for. If you’re not looking for a Christian dating interracial single partner, then choosing a site that features these types of people is not going to benefit you. Make sure that you are joining a site that is going to offer options similar to what you’re looking for, otherwise you are simply wasting your time.
If you are a single Christian and you are looking for someone that you can enjoy life with, then a good place to begin is a site that offers the kinds of potential partners that you are looking for. Christian dating interracial single sites are excellent if you are Christian, single, and looking for an interracial partner or interracial relationship with someone who shares the same religious beliefs and spirituality as you.
Tags: Christian Dating, Interracial Single Dating